A highly scientific investigation into why we take 14 T-shirts, six pairs of shoes and an emergency jumper but somehow forget the phone charger.
Packing for a holiday begins with optimism.
You place the suitcase neatly on the bed.
You make a list.
You fold three T-shirts.
For approximately eleven minutes, you genuinely believe you're the sort of organised person who uses packing cubes.
Then the rest of the family gets involved.
Suddenly there are 14 T-shirts, seven chargers, one snorkel, a hairdryer, three books nobody will read and somebody demanding to know whether we're taking the inflatable crocodile.
The suitcase is already full.
Nobody has packed underwear yet.
Welcome to Family Holiday Packing
Things you actually pack: enough clothing to relocate permanently, three pairs of shoes you've never worn and a jumper capable of surviving a February night in Aberdeen.
A perfectly ordinary baggage allowance has somehow become a mathematical problem normally associated with NASA.
The Packing List Begins Beautifully
The list is immaculate.
T-shirts.
Shorts.
Swimwear.
Underwear.
Sun cream.
Chargers.
Passports.
You even draw little boxes beside everything.
This holiday will be different.
You are organised now.
This sentence will not age well.
Dad Announces He Can Pack in Five Minutes
Everyone else has been preparing for days.
Dad remains remarkably calm.
Excellent.
Twenty minutes later, Dad is walking around the house asking questions.
“Where's my charger?”
“Have you packed toothpaste?”
“Do I need trousers?”
“Where are my sunglasses?”
“Can I put this in your case?”
We Pack for Every Possible Climate
The forecast says:
Naturally, somebody packs a thick jumper.
Why?
“Just in case.”
In case of what?
A freak Arctic front arriving in Antalya?
We pack jeans.
A jacket.
Three long-sleeved tops.
None of them leave the suitcase.
34°C and sunny
Chance of rain: virtually nothing.
Prepared for November
“You never know.”
Then We Need to Discuss the Shoes
Shoes occupy a strange position in holiday packing.
Apparently we need footwear for every possible scenario.
Pool shoes.
Walking shoes.
Evening shoes.
Beach shoes.
Smart shoes.
Trainers.
The pair somebody “might wear.”
Half of them will never leave the room.
Where Are the Passports?
The clothes don't matter.
The shoes don't matter.
The inflatable crocodile definitely doesn't matter.
There is one thing we absolutely need.
The passports.
Somebody definitely put them somewhere safe.
Unfortunately, the problem with somewhere safe is that nobody can remember where it is.
“No you didn't.”
“Yes I did.”
“No. You definitely didn't.”
Seven increasingly tense minutes later, they're discovered exactly where the person who “definitely didn't have them” put them.
The Toiletries Become Their Own Department
Shampoo.
Conditioner.
Shower gel.
Sun cream.
After-sun.
Toothpaste.
Moisturiser.
Deodorant.
Hair products.
More sun cream because apparently the first three bottles aren't enough.
Yes.
Apparently we're opening a small branch of Boots when we arrive.
We Pack Entertainment Nobody Will Use
Books.
Colouring books.
Puzzle books.
Travel games.
Headphones.
A tablet.
Another tablet.
Cards.
A carefully selected collection of educational activities for the children.
Excellent parenting.
The children spend the entire flight looking out of the window and asking:
The books return home untouched.
Then Come the Suitcase Scales
The suitcase is finally finished.
Dad lifts it.
Nobody knows when Dad acquired the ability to measure mass using one arm, but he is extremely confident.
The luggage scales appear.
Silence.
Dad tries again.
23.8kg.
He moves the scales to another part of the room.
23.8kg.
The Great Suitcase Redistribution Begins
We are 3.8kg overweight.
Nobody is removing anything.
Instead, we redistribute.
Mum's shoes go into Dad's case.
Dad's toiletries go into a child's case.
A beach towel enters the hand luggage.
Somebody is now wearing a hoodie purely because it weighs too much.
We weigh it again.
Absolute scenes.
We've won.
Nobody knows exactly what we've won.
But we've won.
The Suitcases No Longer Belong to Anyone
By this stage Dad's shoes are in Mum's case, Mum's toiletries are with one of the children, somebody's swimming costume is in the hand luggage and the phone charger could now be anywhere within a 20-metre radius.
Hand Luggage Becomes a Game of Tetris
The hand luggage was supposed to contain:
Passports.
Phones.
Wallet.
Maybe a book.
It now contains:
A hoodie.
Two pairs of shoes.
Three chargers.
Snacks.
Headphones.
A child's cuddly toy.
An emergency outfit.
And something heavy nobody remembers putting in there.
We've reached the stage where the zip is structural.
The Airport Liquid Panic
You arrive at airport security.
Everything is calm.
Until somebody asks:
Silence.
Suddenly everybody is opening bags.
Toothpaste appears.
Perfume appears.
A bottle nobody remembers packing appears.
The queue behind you grows.
You Will Forget One Important Thing
It is inevitable.
You could create a spreadsheet.
You could have three checklists.
You could begin packing in February.
Something will be forgotten.
The charger.
Sunglasses.
Swimming shorts.
Toothbrush.
Hat.
Hairbrush.
Of course you did.
So We Buy Another One
You've packed enough belongings to fill a small van.
Yet within 24 hours of arriving, you're in a shop buying something you already own.
Another charger.
Another toothbrush.
More sun cream.
Another pair of sunglasses.
Correct.
We may even have packed it.
Nobody knows where.
Half the Things We Packed Never Get Used
Remember that book?
Unopened.
The smart shirt?
Still folded.
The emergency jumper?
It has spent seven days enjoying a lovely holiday inside the wardrobe.
Three pairs of shoes have never seen daylight.
14 T-shirts
Because apparently changing four times per day was a possibility.
The same five
Including one that appeared in nearly every holiday photo.
Dirty Washing Destroys the System
Remember how beautifully everything was folded?
Gone.
By day four, the suitcase has become an archaeological site.
Clean clothes at the bottom.
Possibly clean clothes in the middle.
Definitely not clean clothes on top.
The traditional test begins.
Look at it.
Smell it.
Make a decision.
Nobody remembers which drawer was supposed to contain dirty washing.
Then We Buy Souvenirs
This is where the original packing strategy completely collapses.
We left Britain with full suitcases.
Now we have acquired:
Three fridge magnets.
A beach bag.
Two mugs.
A football shirt.
A suspiciously fragile ornament.
An enormous inflatable.
And a bottle of something somebody insists will “look nice at home.”
Packing to Come Home Is a Completely Different Sport
On the way out, everything was folded.
On the way home?
No.
Everything is thrown in.
T-shirts.
Towels.
Shoes.
Souvenirs.
The unopened book.
Nobody cares anymore.
The suitcase fills.
You push it down.
Somebody sits on it.
The zip moves three centimetres.
Everyone celebrates.
This continues until the suitcase is closed through teamwork, determination and methods probably not recommended by the manufacturer.
And Then the Suitcase Comes Home
The holiday is over.
You've survived check-in.
The suitcase has survived baggage handling.
You drag it through the front door.
And leave it there.
Yesterday this suitcase was important enough to cause an international family crisis over 400 grams.
Today?
Tomorrow becomes Monday.
Monday becomes Wednesday.
Eventually somebody opens it.
Out comes the washing.
The souvenirs.
Four T-shirts nobody wore.
The emergency jumper.
Three pairs of shoes that never left the hotel.
And right at the bottom...
The HolidayIn4U Sensible Packing Guide
Underneath all the chaos, there are a few things worth checking before you finally close the suitcase.
Before You Leave the House
Holiday Packing FAQs
When should I start packing for a holiday?
It depends on the trip, but making a checklist in advance can help you spot anything you need to buy or prepare. Essential documents, medication and travel requirements are worth checking well before departure rather than leaving everything until the night before.
How can I avoid an overweight suitcase?
Check your specific baggage allowance before travelling and weigh your packed case at home where possible. Remember that allowances can differ by airline, fare type and booking, so use the details supplied for your own journey.
What should I put in hand luggage?
Keep important items you may need during the journey accessible, particularly travel documents and essential personal items. Check your airline and departure airport's current cabin-baggage and security requirements before travelling.
What's the easiest way to remember everything?
Use a simple checklist divided into categories such as documents, clothing, toiletries, electronics, medication and children's items. Tick things off only when they actually enter the bag — not when somebody says, “Yeah, I know where it is.”
The Suitcase Always Wins
We do this every year.
We promise to pack lighter.
We promise not to take things we won't use.
We promise to leave room for souvenirs.
Then somehow we end up standing on the bathroom scales holding a suitcase, subtracting our own body weight and declaring:
“19.7! We're fine!”
And that's holiday packing.
Part preparation.
Part mathematics.
Part family argument.
And roughly 30% clothing nobody will wear.
But eventually the cases are zipped.
The passports are found.
The taxi arrives.
Everyone gets in.
You make it halfway down the road.
Then somebody says:
“Did anyone pack the phone charger?”
Silence.
Here we go again.
HolidayIn4U Magazine
Travel advice for people who have stood on bathroom scales
holding a suitcase and called it “accurate enough.”
